A Light in the Dark
by Caera1996
Summary: Bones is still terrified of being in space. Jim helps. Full summary inside.


Title: A Light in the Dark

Author: Caera1996

Rating: G

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Summary: Answers a prompt from LJ's trekkink: Bones is still terrified of being in space. _I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night._

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Jim looked over at Bones in concern, noting the white knuckled grip, the beads of sweat at his temples, and the quick rise and fall of his chest as his breathing bordered on panting. Bones' eyes darted between the shuttlecraft controls and the front window, as if he didn't know where to look. As if he didn't know which was worse. Jim watched as Bones swallowed a couple of times, throat working as his arms trembled with the force of his grip on the armrests.

He'd thought Bones was getting better. Thought he'd become accustomed to the idea of being in space. Obviously, he'd been wrong.

"Bones," Jim said quietly. Leonard looked over at him, and then looked quickly away. "You okay?"

Leonard gritted his teeth, clenching his jaw. Before he could answer, the shuttlecraft bumped and shuddered. Nothing serious. Nothing unexpected. The area they were traveling through was known for the disturbances they were now experiencing. Bones knew that. Jim had explained it to him. Apparently, knowledge wasn't enough to combat fear. Not for this.

Leonard let out a strangled sound and turned his head away from the window, squeezing his eyes closed against the unrelenting, terrifying black.

"No," he said finally, answering Jim's question. "No, I'm not okay, Jim. I can't breathe, I can't..." he stopped, and Jim could see, turned toward him as he was, how pale he'd become.

"Hey," Jim said. He reached out with one hand, gently grasping Bones' arm. Feeling the tremors work their way through him, Jim pressed his lips together, his heart going out to Bones, wishing that he found beauty in space instead of terror. "It's okay, Bones. It really is."

Opening his eyes, Leonard reluctantly met Jim's concerned gaze, and Jim was struck by what he saw: naked fear. And embarrassment. And it physically hurt to see that.

Making a decision, Jim looked away from Leonard to let his eyes sweep the control panels in front of him. He couldn't put the shuttle on auto-pilot here, but there was nothing wrong with a full-stop.

"Come on," Jim said, undoing his seat restraints. "Let's go in the back."

"What...Jim..." Leonard started.

"Come on, Bones. I think it'll help."

Trusting Jim, always trusting Jim, Leonard made himself unclench his hands from the armrests and tried to undo his restraints. His fingers, though, were numb. And he couldn't stop shaking. Seeing that, Jim took his hands, warming his icy fingers in his steady grip for a moment before releasing the restraints for him, and then urged him to stand.

On legs that felt like jelly, Leonard allowed himself to be led into the back of the shuttlecraft. He let Jim maneuver him into sitting on one of the benches, and he heard him activate the divider between the piloting cabin and where they now sat, blocking the view of what lay outside the shuttle.

Jim put an arm around him, holding on tightly. "It's okay, Bones. We're okay."

Embarrassed, but so grateful for the contact, for the comfort, Leonard turned his head to rest on Jim's shoulder. He held on to Jim with one arm going around his back, and he clutched Jim's other hand tightly, his own grip sweaty and trembling.

They sat like that for a few minutes, and Jim just rubbed his back, murmured to him about how close they were to being back on the Enterprise, where "space" didn't seem so overwhelming. Back on the Enterprise, where he could bury himself in his work, cover his nervousness with acerbity, and fool himself into thinking the halls he walked weren't on a starship.

Jim felt Bones' body relax slightly, felt the trembling lessen, then stop. His grip loosened, and when Bones finally raised his head to look into Jim's eyes, the fear wasn't gone...but it wasn't encompassing anymore, either.

Leonard glanced away, feeling his face heat with embarrassment.

"Jim, I - "

"No, don't," Jim said, stopping him. "You have nothing to apologize for. You did this for me. I know you did," Jim added when Leonard looked at him in surprise. "I know you wouldn't be here if it wasn't because of me. And I..."

Jim hesitated, studying Leonard intently for a moment. Then, he took a breath, and before he could think any more on it, leaned forward and gently brushed their lips together.

"I know you're here because of me, and I love you for it. And I'm sorry it's so damn hard."

Shocked, but feeling warm in a way that he didn't think was possible surrounded by the infinite cold and dark of space, Leonard smiled slightly, shaking his head.

"Don't be sorry. It's who you are, and you're...I would go anywhere for you."

Jim smiled at that, his eyes bright and expressive, and he drew Leonard into another hug that he readily returned.

A few minutes later, they took their seats again, and Jim had them moving again, towards the rendezvous point. And while Leonard was still afraid, his heart still pounding at each disturbance that shook the shuttlecraft, Jim's grip on his hand grounded him.

And when he drew his eyes from their joined hands to the window, the stars that Jim so loved seemed a little brighter.


End file.
